Aftermath

Before I get down to business, I just want to say that "aftermath" is one of my favorite words in the English language. I may never make it on Inside the Actor's Studio, largely because I am not an actor, and as such I may never be asked by any interviewer, his gravitas virtually dripping into his beard, to name my favorite word. But if I was, "aftermath" would be on the short list. It just sounds cool. Plus, it provides a wonderful implication about math - that it can be done later.

Okay, enough of that. Welcome back! I know, it's been a while. You haven't gotten your regular dose of the 'Bulb in a while, and for that I apologize. I've been taking some time to mull over the results of last Tuesday's election. And you know what I discovered? Barack Obama being elected the next President of the United States? Still awesome.

Of course, I could go on and on about what he's been up to since the election, his travel habits, his diet, his meeting with President Bush, how he has looked a little tired in recent appearances (and after nearly two years of brutal campaigning, who wouldn't?), who he has already chosen for his cabinet, who is still left to be chosen, what kind of puppy he's going to get his girls, and so on and so on ad nauseum. But the nice thing about taking a break for a little while is that all the newscasters, anchors, reporters, and pundits who actually get paid to follow this stuff take care of writing about it for me. And so far, they have proven one thing about our President-elect: 24-hour news coverage can suck the excitement out of anything.

Seriously, I was so psyched about Obama winning the election that I was actually hoarse the next day from all the screaming. And how long did those feelings of elation last? Almost through the next day. Granted, my waning excitement can be attributed partially to the passing of three propositions banning same-sex marriage and one banning same-sex couples from adopting children, and I'll get to that in a later post, but that's not it. And sure, I was really pulling for Al Franken to win his Senate seat - still am, incidentally - and having no actual result there is more than a little frustrating, but that's not it, either. Honestly, I blame 24-hour news coverage. While I admire the dedication to journalism, sometimes there just isn't enough news to fill all that time. The election was huge, of course. Lots to talk about there. But if you're talking all day long, even if you factor in time killed by repetition of stories from earlier in the day for the benefit of people just tuning in, you still have to come up with an awful lot to talk about. People dancing in the streets from Boston to Kenya makes for heartwarming stuff, but before too long, everybody has already seen the clips. We know people are happy. We may even be happy ourselves. But it can't last, not the way we're being inundated.

Have you ever tried a new food and thought it was the most delicious thing you've ever eaten? So then you seek it out wherever it can be found, consuming it at every opportunity, until you suddenly find you just don't want it anymore? In fact, the last thing in the world you want to do is eat that food, even if you still believe it's the most fantastic thing ever? That's how I feel about Barack Obama right now. I love the guy, I'm absolutely overjoyed that he won, I think he will make a terrific President, Michelle will be a tremendous First Lady, and their kids will be the most adorable First Kids ever, but if I eat any more of him, I will puke.

We still have over two months before Barack Obama takes office. That's not such a long time, but it is an eternity if you have to talk about it twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. And if you think it's hard on the legitimate news outlets (and for the purposes of this one post, I'm including Fox News in that category), it's even harder on the poor schmoes like me who don't report the news, but rather report on the reporting of the news. I caught The Daily Show last night, and although Jon Stewart was great as always (did you watch him and Colbert on Election Night? Brilliant!), the show just felt flat. Much of the show was about Obama, of course, which meant that we saw plenty of clips from other news organizations as they relentlessly followed him and his family, desperate for anything that could be even remotely considered a story. How he's traveling, for instance (by vehicle, if you were curious). One clip, from Fox News I believe, was of a camera crew endlessly waiting outside the White House to see what Obama would look like when he came out of his meeting with President Bush, only to discover that they were waiting outside the wrong gate, and the President-elect had already left. The news organizations are stalking the Obamas to fill time, and the satirists like The Daily Show have been forced to stalk the news organizations. It's bad enough when people who want to consider themselves serious journalists have to settle for being red carpet commentators at a one-man Oscar preshow, but who wants to watch a show about what the commentators are wearing?

Things were easier on the humorists before the election, of course, when President Bush still had at least a fair share of the spotlight. At least he was always good for a bizarre malapropism or at least a quality awkward silence. Obama is golden, at least for now. The most embarassing thing he's said so far has been confusing the cast of Good Times with the cast of Sanford & Son. And you have to forgive him for that one. It's not Obama's fault if his white half thinks all black people look alike!

(Oh God, I'm going to hell.)

Still, this constant coverage threatens to take the shine off the Obama apple before he even gets sworn in. The public loves celebrities, but we idolize them for shorter and shorter periods of time, now. We get sick of talking about how awesome someone is, and then we quickly move on to how much we hate them, and how we can drag their every private moment through the mud. I really, really don't want to see that happen, here. We need some other news to change the subject. The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are still the wars in Afghanistan in Iraq. The economy is still in the crapper. Something needs to happen.

Thankfully, a few people have stepped up to the plate to deliver at least momentary distractions and prove that the most immediate effect of Barack Obama being elected President is not the easing of racial tensions in America, but people's brains breaking.

Leading the country in a way he has failed to do in the last eight years, President Bush started things off with his Election Night call to Obama, in which he congratulated Barack on his victory and on his "good bride." Sadly, reports are unclear as to whether the President then went on to praise Obama for his well-mannered spawn, so we must assume that he did.

But President Bush was not the only national leader who was so flummoxed by Obama's charisma that he temporarily forgot how to speak. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi described Obama as "young, handsome, and tanned." Now, I'm not saying he was wrong on any of those counts, but still, that's just a little iffy. First of all, it sounds like a bit of a come on, but Berlusconi has a history of making flattering remarks about the physical attractiveness of other politicians, so we'll let that one slide. "Tanned," though... that's a tough one. I've never been to Italy, so I don't know, maybe they don't have black people there. But surely the Prime Minister has at least seen them on television. Do they not even have black TV shows and films in Italy (insert "Tyler Perry's House of Panini" joke here)? Does he see them and think, "Mamma mia! How did all those people get so fabulously tan? I must know their secret!"

But you know, it's easy to criticize people from around the world for perhaps being a tad racially insensitive, because we live in a country that is so obsessed with not offending anyone, at least not with anything that could be perceived as racist. I don't think Europeans have the same stick up their asses that we have firmly entrenched in ours. When the Spanish Olympic basketball team posed for a group photo while pulling their eyes into slants, they were surprised when some other nations thought they were being racist assholes. They thought they were just having a good-natured joke with their Chinese hosts. So maybe in Italy it's okay to complement black people on their tans. I'm not sure. Still, I'll let this one go, too. Some things just get lost in translation. And besides, there are some perfectly good instances of people putting their feet in their mouths right here in the U.S. of A.

I'm not the world's biggest fan of Ralph Nader, although I do like him. I think he's dedicated and passionate about overhauling our country's reliance on, and coddling of, giant corporations that treat their employees, and frequently their customers, like crap. I can get behind that. I just don't think he always uses the best judgment. For instance, he stayed in the race all the way to the end in 2000 despite knowing he had no chance of winning, because he wanted to get enough votes to increase the funding for his causes, the largest of which turned out to be running another failed Presidential campaign four years later. He cost Al Gore the election, putting George W. Bush in the White House, and I think Nader himself would agree with me when I say that America under George W. Bush was not a bad place to be if you were a giant corporation who liked treating people like crap. So Nader kind of shot himself in the foot, there.

Again, I respect Ralph Nader for his decades of public service, and I believe in many of his goals. However, just because I am young and hip and I am giving him a nod should not convince Nader that he himself is young and hip. He is neither of those things, nor is he a media darling, or a glamorous icon who can get away with doing and saying anything, and people will just go, "Oh, that's just Ralph." He is a dedicated crusader, but he is far from untouchable. So I don't know what the hell he was thinking when he said about Obama, "he is our first African American President, or he will be. And we wish him well. But his choice, basically, is whether he is going to be Uncle Sam for the people of this country or Uncle Tom for the giant corporations."

Once again, Ralph, your tireless dedication to your cause shines through. Take on the corporations at all times, in all things, without end. But this was Election Night. Less than two hours after Obama had been elected. Obviously, there was much more at stake in this election than just the issue of race. Our country needs a liberal democrat to change things up. But at the same time, it would be foolish to overlook the racial aspect of what happened last Tuesday. A monumental blow was struck for racial equality that will echo in the history of our nation for all time. It was kind of a big deal. So perhaps ol' Ralph could have given it another day or two before referring to the President-elect as "Uncle Tom."

I know, I know. Nader didn't actually call Obama "Uncle Tom," he simply said that time would tell if Obama was going to become an Uncle Tom. Even that he hopes Obama doesn't become an Uncle Tom. Doesn't matter even the tiniest little bit. There are some things you just don't say. It doesn't matter if the "Uncle Sam/Uncle Tom" thing makes a nice sound bite. The words "Uncle Tom" are racially charged. I have never heard the term applied to any non-black person, and I can't imagine a reaction of anything other than puzzlement if it was. Nader couldn't have made this comment if John McCain had been elected. Nor could he have said it about John Kerry if he had won in 2004. It wouldn't have made sense. So let's face it, race was an issue, here. This was not just a comment of, "Okay, we've finally put a genuine liberal in the White House, let's see if he's as good as his word." This was a racially charged statement, and there was absolutely no reason for it to be.

What's even more amazing about this whole thing is that Nader said this little gem on Fox News, an organization that is not typically thought of as being big Obama supporters. And yet, Shepard Smith gave Nader repeated chances to take it back, to apologize, to change his wording, anything. This was one white dude reaching out to another white dude and saying, "No, no! Don't do it! Jesse Jackson will eat your face!" No dice. Nader wouldn't budge. Yowza.

But surely Nader is the only person who has gone on the news and used a totally unnecessary metaphor laden with negative racial implications to talk about Obama, right? Well, not quite. CNN's Jeanne Moos was reporting on the media frenzy following Obama's every move. As the video cut to a clip of an aerial shot following the President-elect riding in an SUV, Moos commented that Obama was "traveling to the airport OJ-style." The allusion, in case you missed it, is to the famous White Bronco car chase in which media outlets filmed a fleeing OJ Simpson from helicopters as he led the police down the freeway. As Jon Stewart so eloquently put it, "OJ Simpson has ruined SUV travel for black people." (A fantastic line that miraculously emerged from the metatextual quagmire of satirical reporting on the reporting of the reporting of Barack Obama's every move.)

What the hell, Jeanne Moos? You couldn't have just said "traveling to the airport?" You didn't call him dropping his daughters off at school, "dropping off his kids Brandee Skinner-style." There was no need for the reference, particularly one that brings up so many memories of the first OJ trial and the introduction of the phrase "race card" into the national lexicon. Christ almighty, people, these are not hard gaffes to avoid.

See, Barack Obama's victory was a massive step forward for race relations in this country, but it also highlights just how far we have to go. We need to overhaul our thinking at the basic level of the language we use. A white politician would have never been referred to as an "Uncle Tom," even in saying that he will hopefully never become one. A white politician who happens to be riding in an SUV would have never been described as traveling "OJ-style," unless the SUV was a White Bronco, which has to now be the least popular car on Earth, or the politician was at least trying to evade the police. We need to learn to talk about Barack Obama not as a black President, but as our President. Sadly, because we can look forward to another two months of reporting on Obama before he actually steps into office and has the chance to actually begin making changes on the governmental level, the racial significance of his election will continue to overshadow the political significance. That means we can continue to look forward to gaffes like these. We need soemthing else to talk about. Either that, or we need the gaffes to be really, really funny.

Way to go, America!

Sort of says it all, doesn't it?

We did it! The largest voter turnout in ninety years stormed the polls and, in a clear and thunderous voice, demanded the change that this country so desperately needed. Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States of America and, in case you hadn't heard, the first African American to get the job. Pretty neat, right?

No, it's not pretty neat! It's FREAKING INCREDIBLE! After multiple elections where young voters expressed their outrage and indignation at a country being stolen out from under them by greedy, rich, old white men, and then failed to show up at the polls to do anything about it, the youngest voters finally showed up. I feel proud beyond measure that I was part of this, and that my generation - my friends and classmates, and their friends and classmates, and so on and so on - delivered this election for Barack Obama. After grappling for so long with the apathy of which our generation has been justly accused, we got off our asses and we made a difference. And everyone who voted in this election, including those who may have never voted before, saw beyond any shred of doubt that when we get involved, when we make the effort, when we stand up for what we believe in, we truly can change the world. For those who made history with their votes yesterday, they will never again question whether it is worth it to take the time out of their day to make it to the polls. A generation just woke up.

This is also a victory for women, who voted in record numbers to put Barack Obama in the White House. In an election where Democrats were forced to choose between a highly qualified black man and a highly qualified white woman as their candidate - a choice that was unquestionably groundbreaking, but also painfully difficult for many voters caught in the middle - the Right sought to draw in disillusioned female voters by dangling Sarah Palin in their faces. By overwhelmingly voting for Obama, women all across America sent a strong message to any politician who would dare to belittle the intelligence and integrity of female voters, telling them, "You cannot simply stick some trophy woman on your ticket and instantly become the party of women's rights. You cannot tell us that you are the pro-women party while simultaneously fighting to limit the rights of women."

It is a victory for the Internet, and for grassroots organizations. It's a victory for community organizers, who are the backbone of our nation and yet were somehow made to feel like what they were doing was trivial by a vicious and desperate Republican campaign. It's a victory for common sense and basic human kindness. For all those who trembled in fear of Obama "redistributing the wealth" like some sort of crazed Marxist, there were far more people who recognized Obama's tax plan for what it is - a means to give help to people who need it, which is the very definition of compassion.

Watching the coverage last night was a harrowing experience, even as the numbers came in in Obama's favor. I couldn't shake visions of things going horribly wrong. A number of websites freely declared Obama the victor up to ninety minutes before any network was willing to do the same, which is a testament to the initiative and vigor of the Internet revolution, but is also perhaps a testament to the fact that websites (like this one, I might add) do not feel the same pressure to be right 100% of the time that more traditional news sources do. The Internet has not had a Heidi moment - referring to NBC's big mistake in 1968 when they cut away from the end of a football game that seemed absolutely certain in order to show Heidi, only for the Raiders to mount one of the all-time greatest comebacks in the last minute of the game, pissing off millions of fans who didn't get to see it - and even if they did, expectations are simply not the same for the Web.

Me, I was feeling much more cautious. I was watching Comedy Central's election special when they made the announcement that Obama won. Okay, but that was Comedy Central. I wasn't ready to celebrate. I switched back over to CNN, and sure enough, they were calling it for Obama. I was still hesitant. Sure, at that point, Obama had the 270 electoral votes he needed, but did he really? In many states, he led by a slim margin, and huge percentages of the votes still needed to be counted. The last count of the popular vote that I had seen placed Obama only a mere one percent ahead of McCain. I trusted CNN to understand the exit polls and have a sense of how the remaining districts in every state would likely shake out, but you never know. Especially in an election as unusual as this one, you just never know. It wasn't until reports came in of McCain calling Obama to concede that the floodgates finally opened and I could actually admit to myself that it was all real, that we actually got this one right.

McCain's concession put to rest my greatest fear - not that McCain/Palin would win, although I think we all know I wasn't exactly pleased with that prospect - but that we would have a repeat of 2000. After running a bitter campaign filled with all the dirty tricks and invective that has characterized the Right in recent memory, I didn't think it was that much of a stretch to imagine McCain fighting for this with every last tool in his arsenal. Particularly since Obama's margin of victory in many states was not a large one and, again, his overall victory in the popular vote was slim (later reports soon showed that Obama's lead was actually not that small at all, but I'm trying to recapture my thought process, here, stick with me), a demand for recounts didn't seem all that impossible. But by conceding when he did, John McCain sent a clear message of his own, that the venom that has characterized his public appearances over the last two years is no longer necessary.

Frankly, I thought John McCain's concession speech was wonderful. And not just wonderful in the "Woo! John McCain is conceding!" sense, but also in the "Hey, that's a nice-ass speech" sense. Despite a tough loss, he seemed more in control of himself than we've seen him in two years, if not more. He spoke without a hint of bitterness and with genuine admiration for the amazing accomplishments that took place. The burning desire to win this election had turned John McCain into the polar opposite of the eminently respectable and thoughtful public servant that he used to be. In order to secure the support of the vocal and powerful neocon wing of his party, McCain had to sacrifice one ideal after another. He reversed so many positions, it's hard to remember where he started. He took on a woefully unqualified and untested running mate that he never would have considered in a hundred years without party pressure to do so. He fought mean and he fought dirty, using the very tricks that destroyed his chances in 2000. The John McCain we've seen throughout this long and arduous process was not the John McCain we once knew, and I was very afraid that it would permanently tarnish both his reputation and his demeanor. His concession speech gave me hope that he may have simply washed his hands of the man he was forced to become. As much as we all know he wanted the Presidency, part of me wonders if he isn't a little glad to be done with it, so that he can return to being himself without his party trying to make him into a lumpier George W. Bush.

Obama's speech, well... Jesus, what did he even say? I don't know. It was great, I remember that much, but if you want specifics, you should scoot on over to a website that has some sort of sense of journalistic integrity. This is a blog written by a man who represents himself as a picture of Homer Simpson with freaky anime eyes. And for my part, I listened to every word that Obama said last night, but even as I did, I knew I wouldn't remember it. What I would remember is how he looked, and how Michelle and the girls looked. How the crowd roared for him. How Jesse Jackson stood amongst the thousands upon thousands of people, not saying a word, just silently crying. How it felt to be standing there at that moment, with my arm around my fiancee, who is a person of color herself and has so often felt marginalized by this nation, watching President Elect Barack Hussein Obama speak to the world for the first time. Obama - I'm guessing - talked about moving forward, about overcoming great odds and tremendous obstacles, and about working together with people who did not support him in order to progress as a country. But although I was listening, I barely heard it. I was swept up in the knowledge that - even if Obama were to have a hugely disappointing presidency, even if he were to spend four years cleaning up Bush's messes and never accomplished anything of his own - nothing would ever be the same again. There will never again be a color barrier in Presidential politics. We will still talk about the first Latino President and the first Asian American President and whatever else as they occur, but we'll only mention it in passing. The color of a Presidential candidate's skin will never be newsworthy again. Hallelujah.

Time will tell, of course, but I think we took a big step toward fixing our reputation in the eyes of the world last night. The international community laughed at us when we elected George W. Bush the first time. They gave us their support again after 9/11, but when Bush squandered that support in the blink of an eye, they turned away from us again. And when we reelected him, they simply shook their heads and wondered just how dumb we were intent on becoming. But now, after eight years of dismantled treaties, sweeping deregulation, callousness, arrogance, deception, incompetence, and hatred, we finally said to the world, "We screwed up before. We're sorry. We were going through a rough patch. But we're back now. Look what we just did. Watch what we can do next." We still have a long way to go, of course, but just like that, I think the world gave us another chance.

Of course, Obama was not the only winner last night. This Joe Biden guy also had a pretty good time of it. He's going to be an awesome Vice President. Although the Democrats didn't pick up the filibuster-proof 60 seats in the Senate, we did increase our majority in both the Senate and the House. Those races are much more prone to changes after election day, so I'm not going to say too much about them right now, aside from saying that a Democratic President with a Democratic Congress... wow. Things could actually get done! Holy shit!

Speaking of holy shit moments, last night was also a big night for common sense in regards to marijuana policy. Michigan joined the ranks of those few, but awesome states in approving the growth and possession of medical marijuana. Way to go, Michigan! Massachusetts overwhelmingly passed a proposition to decriminalize possession of up to an ounce of marijuana, meaning that any caught with an ounce or less would simply have the pot taken away and be slapped with a $100 fine, which can be paid through the mail like any other minor ticket. Amazing. I grew up in Massachusetts, and I'm proud to say that my hometown passed this one by a two-to-one margin. Nothing is set in stone with these propositions just yet. Just being passed doesn't automatically make them laws. The legislative bodies in Michigan and Massachusetts could overturn the decisions. But will they? I don't think so. If John McCain, who fought as hard a race as any in recent memory, can hear the will of the people and concede the election to Barack Obama, then Michigan and Massachusetts lawmakers can hear the will of their own people and make these sensible propositions into law. Let's hope other states follow suit and our jails are soon no longer choked with nonviolent offenders whose only crime was loving Doritos.

There were many reasons to celebrate last night, but unfortunately, there were also some disappointments. Neo-McCarthyist Michelle Bachman scored another two-year term in the House, despite revealing herself to be batshit insane on national television. In Minnesota, Al Franken is currently trailing incumbent Norm Coleman by less than six hundred votes. A third party candidate with largely liberal views took nearly sixteen percent of the votes, meaning Franken likely could have won by a large margin. A recount in a certainty, but my heart goes out to Mr. Franken, whose thorough research and top-notch humor I have so often stolen.

Arizona and Florida passed their propositions banning same-sex marriage. Although nothing is final yet, at the time of this writing, California's Prop 8 looks like it will pass with a narrow margin, reducing the number of states that support same-sex marriage from three to two, and striking a massive blow against the gay rights movement. I don't get it. It astounds me that California and Florida, and even Arizona, which unsurprisingly went to McCain but still delivered quite a large number of votes for Obama, could be so dead set against gay marriage. These states are (finally!) willing to have a black man lead this country at one of its most pivotal moments, but they can't stomach the thought of two women getting married. It is honestly beyond me. I defy anyone to watch this video made by two women who got married this summer and tell me that they are a threat to our country.

Disappointments like these go to show that we may have made a colossal step forward last night - and we absolutely did - but we have a long way to go until we genuinely fulfill our nation's promise of freedom and equality to all.

Okay, so it may not have been perfect, but let's not dwell on the bad aspects of this election. At least not so soon. Today, we should be celebrating! I'm absolutely blown away by the huge turnout and the phenomenal support for Obama/Biden. It's a historical moment for African Americans, for all minorities in this country, and for all Americans in general. It's also a damn good thing. Black or white, male or female, we needed something different from what we've had for the last eight years. We needed a big change. And we got it, not by luck or complacency, but by going out and getting it. This is a huge moment for us all.

Thank you to everyone who hit the polls yesterday. You rock. You have changed the country, and by extension, the world. Forever. Kinda cool, isn't it?

Yes We Did!

Spidey is just saying what we're all thinking: HELL YEAH!

Refer to Previous Post

Didja vote yet? Didja didja didja?

I just got back from casting my ballot, and I have to tell you, it feels good. This is history in the making, folks. This is the good stuff.

I wish I could regale you with stories of waiting two hours and then having the voting machine eat my vote and recast it for Daffy Duck, but that didn't happen. Everything was perfectly orderly, and the voting booth, while a tad confusing upon first glance, worked exactly the way it was supposed to. In my district, we have levers. Everybody should have levers. Electronic touch screens are nice and futuristic, but they cause problems. Hell, when I took the written test to get my learner's permit way back when, it was administered on an electronic touch screen, and it screwed me royally. I knew I was in trouble when it asked me a sample question - "What state are we in right now?" - and when I pushed the correct answer, it told me I was wrong. So yeah, I'm no fan of those electronic dealies.

Besides, levers are so satisfying. They give voting that visceral edge that gets people out of their houses and into the booths. When you go to Vegas and hit the slots, which is more exciting - a machine where you push a button, or a machine where you pull the lever? I think we all know the answer. Levers are great, particularly when they make that shhhhhkchunk sound. And did the lever in my voting booth today make that sound? Oh hell yes. It was a good lever. A strong lever. A mad scientist lever. The sort of lever that makes you feel like you just voted the fuck out of this election.

I'll be watching the coverage tonight, like everyone else. And I'll also be watching the news outlets during the day for stories of voter suppression and other such unpleasantness. If there's anything worth ranting about, you can bet you'll be able to find it right here.

so, get out there and vote! The lines were short at my polling place when I got there, but they were growing longer every minute, and by the time I left, they were nearly out the door. Go cast your vote, and above all, Go Obama!

Go Vote, You Bastards!

This weekend I went to a calling party for Obama. If you got a call saying, "Hi, my name is Fishbulb, and I'm a volunteer with Barack Obama's Campaign for Change," it was probably me. Although I can't be sure; there was another Fishbulb there. I was very excited to speak to a number of people in Pennsylvania who are planning to vote for Obama tomorrow. What really alarmed me, though, was not how many people were voting for McCain (I actually only got one household that copped to it), but how many people were not planning to vote at all. And I mean they were adamant about it. This was no wishy-washy "Oh, I don't know if I'll be able to make it to the polls." This was, "No, I'm not voting, so don't waste your breath." This was, "No, I quit voting four years ago, and I'll never do it again." The one person I spoke to who tried to sugarcoat it took a hardline the moment I pressed any further. She told me she wouldn't be voting because she couldn't get to her local polling place. I told her I could help her arrange a ride. She told me that wouldn't be necessary, she wasn't going to vote. So the whole "not being able to get there" thing was not so much an issue in comparison to a firm refusal to vote.

It is alarming to me when people don't want to vote. I know people who truly do want to vote sometimes forget. That's one thing. I know it can sometimes be tough to find time to get to a polling place, even though every American employer is mandated to give employees time off to go vote on Election Day - and please remind your employer of that fact should they give you a hard time about it - and that's a shame. But to be able to vote and be dead set against doing so, that freaks me right the hell out. I'm not the sort of guy who spends a lot of time thinking about people who died for our right to vote for our own government hundreds of years ago, or about places around the world where people don't have any such right and would gladly give up their genitalia if it meant they could cast a vote in an honest election. I suppose I know people who would give up their genitalia to vote in an honest election right here, but that's getting a little sidetracked. The point is, I don't have to think about these things long and hard, because even thinking about them for a second makes me want to grab anyone who is legally, physically, and mentally capable of voting but refuses to do so and slap them until my hand is nothing but a tattered wreck of knuckles and rage.

But you know what? People who were never planning to vote in this election may disturb me, but they're not the ones I care about right now. As an Obama supporter, of course I'm a little sad whenever a vote that could be cast on his behalf is never cast at all, but at least they're not voting for McCain/Palin. But whatever, if they don't want to be counted, then they don't count. Fine. The people I am concerned about are the ones who say they want Obama to win, but are so placated by all the stories in the news about how he's leading in the polls that they don't bother to go out and vote themselves.

If you think your vote doesn't matter in this election, that the election is already decided, that enough people are already voting that your vote won't make a difference, or that Obama has it in the bag, please read the following very carefully, preferably while pinching yourself as hard as you can: GO VOTE, YOU BASTARD.

Apathy kills campaigns. Complacency loses elections. Al Gore lost by less than six hundred votes, and the result was not four years of ruin, but eight. Eight years of diminished credibility, eight years of environmental devestation, eight years of callous ambivalence toward the plight of the needy in our own country, eight years of unlawful and deceptive war, eight years of slashed student loan and education budgets, unfunded mandates, and tax breaks for the ultra-wealthy. If Barack Obama loses this election, maybe he'll have the steam to run the next time. Maybe Hillary will take another stab at it. But maybe not. And if George W. Bush can run roughshod over this nation for four years and still coast into another term, then trust me, Sarah Palin can do the same.

And let's not forget that this election is about more than just the President and Vice President. We're electing senators. We're electing representatives. We're voting on propositions that could change the face of civil rights in this country, generally for the worse. Get out there and vote. Vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Vote "no" on Prop 8 in California. Vote "no" on Prop 2 in Florida. Vote "no" on Prop 102 in Arizona. Hey, Connecticut isn't safe, either. Connecticut recently approved same-sex marriages - nicely done, CT - but as one alert reader recently informed me, that same policy is now in jeopardy, in a truly insidious fashion. The Catholic Church is pushing a proposition in Connecticut that would take power away from elected officials and give more direct voting power to the people. Having a popular vote decide more things in the fate of a state doesn't sound like a bad idea. In fact, it's the sort of thing I'd normally be all for. But in this case, the Catholic Church is pushing for it because it sets up their next move, which would be to call for a popular vote to ban same-sex marriage, since they know that the lawmakers who recently approved gay marriage would never renounce it just like that. The Church wants to trick people into thinking that they're all for the people thinking for themselves and exercising their own opinions, and then they want to tell people what they're opinions should be, and bully them into voting to strip basic civil rights from people who have done nothing wrong. Pretty sneaky, Catholicism.

No matter where you are, or what is on your local ballot, get out and vote tomorrow. Don't let yourself be rushed. Take the time to understand the ballot. Read the questions carefully. Figure out your card, machine, lever system, computer, whatever it may be. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you're having trouble. The people staffing your local polling place are there to help. And don't let yourself get intimidated. You have a right to cast your vote for the candidate and issues that you truly believe in, and no one can take that from you.

That said, don't be stupid. Don't be cocky. Don't be an ass. If you show up wearing a shirt proclaiming your love for a particular candidate, you can be turned away - you're not allowed to campaign at a polling place. Ditto if you stand in line, shouting at the top of your lungs about how your candidate is the best and people who vote for anyone else are idiots, communists, or sinners.

This is a civic duty, and a solemn one. Take it seriously, take your time, but above all, GO VOTE.