Go Vote, You Bastards!

This weekend I went to a calling party for Obama. If you got a call saying, "Hi, my name is Fishbulb, and I'm a volunteer with Barack Obama's Campaign for Change," it was probably me. Although I can't be sure; there was another Fishbulb there. I was very excited to speak to a number of people in Pennsylvania who are planning to vote for Obama tomorrow. What really alarmed me, though, was not how many people were voting for McCain (I actually only got one household that copped to it), but how many people were not planning to vote at all. And I mean they were adamant about it. This was no wishy-washy "Oh, I don't know if I'll be able to make it to the polls." This was, "No, I'm not voting, so don't waste your breath." This was, "No, I quit voting four years ago, and I'll never do it again." The one person I spoke to who tried to sugarcoat it took a hardline the moment I pressed any further. She told me she wouldn't be voting because she couldn't get to her local polling place. I told her I could help her arrange a ride. She told me that wouldn't be necessary, she wasn't going to vote. So the whole "not being able to get there" thing was not so much an issue in comparison to a firm refusal to vote.

It is alarming to me when people don't want to vote. I know people who truly do want to vote sometimes forget. That's one thing. I know it can sometimes be tough to find time to get to a polling place, even though every American employer is mandated to give employees time off to go vote on Election Day - and please remind your employer of that fact should they give you a hard time about it - and that's a shame. But to be able to vote and be dead set against doing so, that freaks me right the hell out. I'm not the sort of guy who spends a lot of time thinking about people who died for our right to vote for our own government hundreds of years ago, or about places around the world where people don't have any such right and would gladly give up their genitalia if it meant they could cast a vote in an honest election. I suppose I know people who would give up their genitalia to vote in an honest election right here, but that's getting a little sidetracked. The point is, I don't have to think about these things long and hard, because even thinking about them for a second makes me want to grab anyone who is legally, physically, and mentally capable of voting but refuses to do so and slap them until my hand is nothing but a tattered wreck of knuckles and rage.

But you know what? People who were never planning to vote in this election may disturb me, but they're not the ones I care about right now. As an Obama supporter, of course I'm a little sad whenever a vote that could be cast on his behalf is never cast at all, but at least they're not voting for McCain/Palin. But whatever, if they don't want to be counted, then they don't count. Fine. The people I am concerned about are the ones who say they want Obama to win, but are so placated by all the stories in the news about how he's leading in the polls that they don't bother to go out and vote themselves.

If you think your vote doesn't matter in this election, that the election is already decided, that enough people are already voting that your vote won't make a difference, or that Obama has it in the bag, please read the following very carefully, preferably while pinching yourself as hard as you can: GO VOTE, YOU BASTARD.

Apathy kills campaigns. Complacency loses elections. Al Gore lost by less than six hundred votes, and the result was not four years of ruin, but eight. Eight years of diminished credibility, eight years of environmental devestation, eight years of callous ambivalence toward the plight of the needy in our own country, eight years of unlawful and deceptive war, eight years of slashed student loan and education budgets, unfunded mandates, and tax breaks for the ultra-wealthy. If Barack Obama loses this election, maybe he'll have the steam to run the next time. Maybe Hillary will take another stab at it. But maybe not. And if George W. Bush can run roughshod over this nation for four years and still coast into another term, then trust me, Sarah Palin can do the same.

And let's not forget that this election is about more than just the President and Vice President. We're electing senators. We're electing representatives. We're voting on propositions that could change the face of civil rights in this country, generally for the worse. Get out there and vote. Vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Vote "no" on Prop 8 in California. Vote "no" on Prop 2 in Florida. Vote "no" on Prop 102 in Arizona. Hey, Connecticut isn't safe, either. Connecticut recently approved same-sex marriages - nicely done, CT - but as one alert reader recently informed me, that same policy is now in jeopardy, in a truly insidious fashion. The Catholic Church is pushing a proposition in Connecticut that would take power away from elected officials and give more direct voting power to the people. Having a popular vote decide more things in the fate of a state doesn't sound like a bad idea. In fact, it's the sort of thing I'd normally be all for. But in this case, the Catholic Church is pushing for it because it sets up their next move, which would be to call for a popular vote to ban same-sex marriage, since they know that the lawmakers who recently approved gay marriage would never renounce it just like that. The Church wants to trick people into thinking that they're all for the people thinking for themselves and exercising their own opinions, and then they want to tell people what they're opinions should be, and bully them into voting to strip basic civil rights from people who have done nothing wrong. Pretty sneaky, Catholicism.

No matter where you are, or what is on your local ballot, get out and vote tomorrow. Don't let yourself be rushed. Take the time to understand the ballot. Read the questions carefully. Figure out your card, machine, lever system, computer, whatever it may be. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you're having trouble. The people staffing your local polling place are there to help. And don't let yourself get intimidated. You have a right to cast your vote for the candidate and issues that you truly believe in, and no one can take that from you.

That said, don't be stupid. Don't be cocky. Don't be an ass. If you show up wearing a shirt proclaiming your love for a particular candidate, you can be turned away - you're not allowed to campaign at a polling place. Ditto if you stand in line, shouting at the top of your lungs about how your candidate is the best and people who vote for anyone else are idiots, communists, or sinners.

This is a civic duty, and a solemn one. Take it seriously, take your time, but above all, GO VOTE.